Marcia's Musings: A Blow to the Gut
/By Marcia Appel — Last Updated: November 15, 2024
Sometime in the 1990s while driving across the congested Twin Cities to a high-pressure job, I abruptly pulled my car over and just sat there. Cars, vans, motorcycles, and trucks whizzed past me as I sat stuck in place. In my fog, I finally picked up my cell phone and called the friend who knows me best. “I’m sitting on the side of the Crosstown unable to move,” I managed to say through choked tears. “I’ll be right there,” she said.
Figuratively, I ran out of road and gas that morning, the result of an emotional gut punch that had happened the prior evening.
The causes of an emotional gut punch, gob smack, or sucker punch, whatever term you give it, vary by individual and situation. Sometimes, it’s the death of a beloved friend, family member, or pet. Sometimes, it’s the end of a marriage or other close relationship. Sometimes, it’s losing a job or an election. Sometimes, it’s absorbing a shocking and unexpected pronouncement, like selling the family home or relocating for work. The reasons are endless, and often they arrive as a surprise, which can feel like doubling down on the pain.
We know the many feelings caused by the emotional gut punch, gob smack, or sucker punch: dislocation, hurt, fear, shakiness, chills, repetitive thinking, sadness, loneliness, even depression that come for you and hold you tightly. To me, it feels like a cross between the stomach flu and heartbreak. Most of my bodily systems – from my breathing to my mind – go out of whack as my perception of and reaction to the gut punch chase me into gloom.
To me, an emotional gut punch feels like a cross between the stomach flu and heartbreak.
I’ve been battling such feelings for a few weeks, wondering if I can observe and feel my way out of this force that currently grips me. I’ve been turning to my toolkit for help. This is what’s been working for me.
Sit with the feelings; stay in your body
Being with the feelings first – not pushing them away – is critical to understanding how deep of a funk you’re experiencing. What’s happening to your body? How is your mind handling the gut punch – racing or shutting down? Is your sleep being disrupted? Are you holding your breath? Are you eating too little or overeating in hopes of ease? What are the patterns of your thoughts, and are they growing darker?
Why, you may ask, would anyone want to stay with these feelings and observe them when it can hurt so much? The answer is simple and, for many of us, counterintuitive. We hang in there with them so that they don’t grow bigger and stay longer. Emotions come and go like waves. As we learn to ride them, they are tamed. Physical sensations serve as clues to what we’re feeling, and we ignore them at our own peril. During these times, Mindfulness Yoga and Yoga Nidra public classes work wonders, as do breathing practices. Scheduling private sessions is also something to be considered.
Talk to someone you trust to listen and be honest
When laid low by a gut punch, the tendency is to isolate, which can be an important first step as you seek to understand your feelings and deal with physical reactions like sleeplessness, stomach issues, headaches, or jitters, for example. Isolating too long, though, can add fuel to your emotions and runaway mind and worsen your physical reactions. That’s when you place the call or set up a visit with a friend, counselor, life coach, or therapist who will listen and be forthright as you reveal not only your pain but also the source of it.
Isolating too long, though, can add fuel to your emotions and runaway mind.
Admitting the truth about your situation to a safe person in a safe space helps you to cut through the darkness and eases the emotional and physical pain. This process of active listening and feedback between two people is called a dyad, a fundamental concept in psychological systems, including in yoga and Buddhist philosophy.
Be mindfully active
When our systems run haywire caused by an emotional wallop, there are two extremes: doing nothing and doing too much. As I was going through my recent valley, I entered a bunker-like state, staying in my home for multiple days. Feeling my sense of despair deepen, I knew I had to resume balanced activity.
On one of the toughest days, I accepted an invitation to play cards at a friend’s house one early evening, even though I wondered if my eyes could stop dripping tears long enough to do so. It turned out to be the best thing. The four gathered friends updated each other on kids, grandkids, projects, plans, and recipes, all the while playing a game that kept us laughing and nibbling.
I jumped on my bike most days and rode in the warm sunlight, hearing birds and spotting various other creatures. Other days, I took an active yoga class like Vinyasa or Core that sweated some of the sadness out of me and helped me to sleep better. Swimming laps tires me in a pleasant way and makes me feel lighter emotionally. The challenge is to find balance between doing and being, which is often difficult anyway and certainly difficult to do when you’ve received a gut punch.
I’m looking ahead to the holidays and how to maintain this equilibrium during them. A play here, a concert there, and certainly for me a visit to our Holiday and Psychic Fair.
Engage in a creative activity
For me, this means writing, getting up each day and letting the words pour forth (or not). Each of us has creativity in our DNA. Whether it's writing, acting, gardening, painting (on paper, canvas, walls, or rocks - whatever surface you wish), knitting, playing music, drawing, or artfully rearranging the furniture and art in your home, do it and do it often.
Setting your creativity free helps to chase away the blues and emotional pain of a figurative gut punch by focusing your concentration on a pleasant task.
Schedule bodywork
At emotional times like these, massage, energy work, acupuncture, sauna sessions, Thai yoga massage, and other modalities will bolster your systems as you work through the emotions and physical sensations caused by the gut punch. Now, you might be thinking, that serves Green Lotus well. So be it. The research is clear that incorporating these integrative wellness techniques into an overall plan that includes Western medicine bolsters overall health and well-being. We’ve seen it play out well for people thousands and thousands of times in our seventeen years in business.
Finally, remember this: If the pain you’re experiencing is being caused by someone physically applying a gut punch or any kind of physical force, seek immediate help. Know where in your community to find resources if this happens and use them immediately. Emotional stability cannot be attained if you are in physical danger.
