Marcia's Musings: People Who Need People
/By Marcia Appel — Last Updated: December 6, 2024
In 1964, Barbra Streisand recorded what would become one of her signature songs – “People” from the Broadway play Funny Girl. The thoughtful lyrics sung with aching clarity impressed the fourteen-year-old me, who secretly listened to music under the covers late into the night thanks to the miracle of the transistor radio.
Tanzania: Bonds form on retreats
I remember thinking, as I keenly felt the importance of my family and friends with a teenager’s passion, “How true.” Over the decades, the ballad elicited covers from Aretha Franklin, Nat King Cole, the Supremes, Dionne Warwick, and many others, an enduring legacy of notable artists asking us to consider how important we are to each other.
When times become troubled, when loneliness descends, when weariness seeps into the bones, when the load feels too heavy, even when we wish to have fun and adventure, the comfort and joy of community beckons. I have been thinking about this often over the last month as winter nipped at my heels, the days grew shorter for light and longer for darkness, and my heart felt a slight ache, something akin to heartbreak.
What to do, I thought?
One of the things I know well about myself is that to be as healthy as possible I need to regularly immerse myself in the essence of community. For me, being in community represents a practice every bit as much as my yoga and mindfulness ones do. As with every practice, on some days ignoring it seems easier than engaging in it.
Friendships formed on the Tanzania retreat
It is almost trite to say it now: The pandemic nearly broke the back of community. We have been wandering in the wilderness of isolation ever since. Vast amounts of research outline a blueprint of what happens to us when we choose to be on an island of one rather than in communities of many. Beginning in 2020, we forgot how to communicate kindly; we abandoned the institutions and activities that nurtured us; we turned our backs on that which sustained us and made us stronger. The pandemic we face now is one of loneliness and isolation.
There is a vast difference between having a vibrant internal life and choosing to be alone most of the time. Almost no one wants to return to the hectic and stressful lifestyles that beset us prior to 2020. Yet the disconnect from our humanness and humaneness widens when we isolate too often, when it is easier to physically stay put than it is to venture forth. Being active and involved can rest side by side with being rested, relaxed, and reflective, and these two concepts can intersect to our benefit when we set healthy boundaries.
Marcia’s book club - some of us in Mexico
I find community in my closet circle of family and friends. I cherish my book club, and my Florida neighborhood made up of people from around the country who need each other when we gather to escape winter. I take solace in my writing partner as we discuss each other’s work. During the pandemic we walked miles together, connected by our phones - she in one city and I in another - staving off loneliness and creating new pieces for our hoped-for book one idea and one step at a time. I love to study with others. I prefer to watch a new movie at the theater and listen to the reactions of others around me as we snuggle into cozy seats in what feels to me like a gigantic living room.
One of my most beloved communities, Green Lotus, refreshes me every time I pop through the door. We describe the centers – and our mission – as being community-based because in writing the business plan, we intuitively knew that being in community with each other would ground all those who entered and give each person a place to belong. It has worked, and the ways in which community manifests itself at the centers amazes me even after all these years. Now, as I move only to the role of founder and relinquish ownership to my business parter, I know I will find solace in that vibrant community as long as I can get there.
I can name dozens (and perhaps many hundreds) of tight and long-lasting friendships that have formed in the centers and on our retreats. Each day I am there, I witness students greeting each other because they know each other, catching up before or after class. When I look at the attendance rosters of workshops and events, I notice how often people repeat them and how, through this shared experience, they come to know each other and the workshop leader. Parents walk through the front door with a child arriving for a massage, for example, and then companionably settle into the Gathering Space to have tea, read, or chat with staff and other guests as they wait. When I wrote the concept of the Gathering Space – complete with comfortable seating, on-demand tea, and a lending library – into the original business plan, I hoped it would serve as a connecting place. Little did I dream it would be so powerful in being just that.
Green Lotus teacher trainging sangha - bonds formed over many sanghas during 17 years
There are a thousand stories to tell and not enough room here to do so. They warm the heart. A few of my favorites include:
The joy felt by a teacher who was invited to play his guitar and sing at the wedding of one of our students.
The many times I have witnessed friends, parents and children, and life partners reaching out and holding hands during savasana at the end of class.
The mother and daughter who started coming to the centers together and found a deepening of this sacred bond, and other mom-daughter duos who repaired theirs by practicing together.
The teacher-training sanghas that still meet several times a year after graduating because the bond of trust they created endures.
A judge and longtime yogi at the centers who performed MB’s and Karl’s wedding ceremony and gave witness to community in many forms that day.
Five women who met at the Lakeville center shortly after it opened and formed strong bonds – and who recently laid one member of the group to rest.
This “soft service” offered at Green Lotus – to be grounded in community at the centers – heals through the intimacy of connection. “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world,” Streisand sang. I set the intention for 2025 that you find community in many places, including at Green Lotus. How lucky that would be for us all.
