The Power of Uncomfortable
/I was twenty-five years old with a budding idea about becoming a professional writer and speaker. The idea was pretty new, but it felt compelling.
Our church hosted Soup Suppers, a simple meal after which church members shared a bit of their personal story. I decided this would be my debut. My hair was beautifully coiffed, my best suit was freshly cleaned, my jewelry, make-up, and shoes were polished. My carefully written remarks were neatly typed and arranged in a folder. I practiced several times, and I was ready!
I do not remember much about the soup, but I do remember - vividly - the flop sweat! I was so nervous that my red suit jacket was now two-toned with deep red sweat-stained side panels from my armpits to my waist. My makeup was smeared from blotting perspiration.
At the appointed time, I wobbled up to the podium, took a deep breath, and opened my mouth. Gack. Nothing came out. I tried again and emitted a feeble squawk followed closely by an impressive dry-mouthed cluck.
Apparently the first streams of perspiration were just a preview, because the floodgates opened, and I was now dripping on the floor. Twelve minutes later, I somehow finished my remarks and fled to the back of the room, arms pinned to my sides in an attempt to cover my drenched jacket. While people were kind in their comments, I think they felt just as mortified as I did. They had witnessed a train wreck.
A friend of mine approached after most of the crowd left.
"So, how was that?" he asked with a playful grin. "Still want to be a speaker and writer?" He continued. "If you really want this, Elizabeth, are you willing to keep doing this, even badly, until you can do it well?"
I had to seriously think about that but not for long. Yes! I wanted this! Not this misery but the dream. I realized that what I wanted was waiting on the other side of all the deep discomfort and embarrassment. In that exchange, I formed a new relationship with ‘uncomfortable’ that still informs my life today.
I believe that feeling uncomfortable can be a positive thing, an important step in the process of growth. Uncomfortable shows us the edges of our world. We have become so averse, however, to anything that requires even a whiff of uncomfortable that we stay stuck right where we are, miserable, yet utterly unwilling to change. Complaining. Choosing what is known, the comfortably uncomfortable. Stuck.
But what if we chose the rich and fertile ‘uncomfortable’ once in a while? Such as an uncomfortable but necessary conversation, a new venture or creative skill. What if?
I invite you to actively choose ‘uncomfortable’. We are never as close to that new 'something' we desire than when we are deeply uncomfortable and choose to press forward anyway. In the process we learn that ‘uncomfortable’ is temporary. What we reach toward in the uncomfortable is ours forever.
Elizabeth Bayer is a graduate of Green Lotus’s 200-hour and 300-hour yoga teacher-training programs. She is a noted lecturer, workshop leader, and author of two non-fiction books dealing with self-discovery – her 2003 memoir Wednesdays at the Fluff 'n' Fold and 2016's Yoga Expression Spirit in which she chronicles the three pillars of her life. In 2020, Elizabeth and her husband founded the Annandale Art and Textile Center, the non-profit home of the Heart of the Lakes Weavers, a vocational-weaving program employing individuals with social and developmental disabilities.
